I rarely write a Substack post from scratch. But here we go. I want to check in with you all before the month ends: please keep reading for a survey about your interests and preferences going forward….
Today I’ll just track some city wandering, now that I’m back in New York City. Yesterday I took the subway in from Brooklyn and got off downtown so I could take advantage of the unusually lovely weather to extend my walk. I had finished some work by mid-afternoon and liberated myself from my office into the fresh air. I had no agenda except to eventually drop off my cell phone for repair. The phone was four years old and acting up, intermittently, so I was afraid I’d need a new one. I don’t want a new phone.
As I walked, I tried to want things— from a cup of coffee to a pair of sneakers to a lipstick. I wanted the twang of pleasure from acquiring and enjoying a physical thing— tasting it or holding it in my hand or wearing it. I went in and out of stores, thinking, here is a perfectly fine sweater, but I don’t want it. I was aware of the glamour of many objects, behind plate glass or shiny counters, but it was as if some magic trick wasn’t working on me. I looked and considered and said, no, no, no. Some days are like that. You can’t or won’t please yourself and you can’t or won’t be taken in by whatever pleases others.
The city itself— the mild breeze and over bright sunshine, the people jostling on the sidewalk, the leaves piling on the ground, even the helicopters humming overhead— was enough. I felt lucky to have legs that worked well to carry me along, arms swinging. Lucky to be back in my hometown.
I had to leave my cell phone at the shop overnight for a replacement part and that was a shock. Not only can’t I call or text from anywhere or look for nearby restaurants on any street corner, but I can’t tap to get on the subway home or set an alarm to wake up in the morning or read the mystery novel I borrowed from the library or…. I hadn’t realized how much of my daily life was managed by apps (and I don’t even turn the lights on and off with an app, as my husband does. I stand up! And reach out an arm!) As I write, the phone is probably ready for pick up but I’m leaning into this discomfort, my empty pocket.
On November 1st my Substack will be one year old and I’m using the anniversary as an opportunity to strategize for the year ahead. I will soon run out of pre-drafted material from the memoir I wrote so I’ll have to do more of this spontaneous stuff. What would you like more of? less of? Right now this newsletter straddles the borders of art writing, family memoir, and genealogy research and I’d like to continue reaching the readers interested in all of these, if possible. Please take this brief survey and let me know what you think!
Finally, a bit of art as postscript. I took this photograph as I dropped off my phone for repair and meant to send it to the friend who asked me if I “had seen the elephants.” Now I have. They are moving on soon— a herd of 100 migrating across the U.S.
Enjoy your days wherever you are and leave a comment or reply to this email! I answer all emails. :)
Hi Victoria! I took the survey, but I'm not sure if I was very helpful. I liked this piece a lot, but I have to say I enjoy everything you write since you're such a talented writer. I especially like the posts where you step back and analyze what you've written - it's a perspective I've not seen very often on Substack, and I think it's not only really interesting, but helpful. Happy 1st Anniversary to you!
Hi, Victoria. Don’t I know that “twang of pleasure” that used to come (rarely now) from acquiring something. I didn’t take the survey because I am convinced that art, including Substack posts, should begin with the artist’s need to connect with readers, viewers or listeners. I want to read what you feel compelled to write, in search of the twang of pleasure. I come from the former world of mass-market magazines, where reader surveys mattered as we sought to entice hundreds of thousands of readers. I don’t see what surveys have to offer you or me on Substack. I am looking for the twang here, however it may come. Onward!